Update

I'm taking a class on my favorite books in the Bible- I and II Corinthians. This class is interesting…I don't agree with all of the professor's interpretations of the scripture, but I don't disagree with everything either. I Corinthians is full of gentle correction and spiritual truth and I appreciate it more now than ever. II Corinthians is like a ministry update and a lesson in sound doctrine all wrapped up in one letter. Seems like some great stuff to learn from and model after.

I'm writing an exegesis on II Corinthians 1:3-11, called "The God of All Comfort" in my NIV. All comfort. Verses 3-7 are incredibly reassuring and I find myself referencing them when I'm stressing. I'm excited to see what I come up with from poring over this passage for a semester.

I've been doing some design work lately, too. It's been a while since I've dived into any and I'm really enjoying it. I find it easier to create things that please both the "client" and myself than I have in the past. Maybe I'll post a blog of some of my work from the past year. Someday :) Oh, and I've jumped on the Gotham bandwagon. Ya, I'm a little late, but I chose to use it in a logo this past week! Snaps, anyone? The logo's for a young women's conference the college ministry's putting on at my church. Gotham and Lobster1.4. Very nice :) Check it out:

In the end, picture #2 was the winner. Fun design time.

I'm currently playing with some save the date ideas. Trying to come up with something without stepping on the fiancé's toes since it's his nitch…I just keep coming up with concepts and need to get them out of my brain! You know?

Oh, something I'm crazy about right now:

Science & Faith, the Script's new album. So great. I'm really enjoying it. Sure, I wish it had come out two years ago, but I forgive them ;) It was worth the wait in my opinion. I'm also liking Florence and the Machine's album called Lungs. Sure, some of the lyrics are a little graphic, emo and ya, ok, pretty strange. But Florence Welch's voice is so beautiful. So I just skip the songs that creep me out a little, like Girl With One Eye. Weird stuff. But, Dog Days are Over, Cosmic Love and My Boy Builds Coffins are incredible.  I'm also crazy about You've Got the Love, Hurricane Drunk and Drumming Song. I could go on and on. Not so much with Science & Faith because, honestly, many of the Scripts songs sound very similar. I don't know the album well enough to tell you which songs I prefer.

I'm also learning a lot. About myself and all. Ya, I feel like I write this every time I post, but I guess I'm still at that age of self-discovery. Which will probably continue for a lifetime. I'm ok with that. Just figuring out what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. It's an exciting time and I can't wait to see what the next year has in store. 

My job is awesome, by the way. Another thing to be excited about :)

Have a great Thursday

The Coolest Thing Since Shredded Cheese

Do you remember how you felt when you where a kid and something embarrassing happened to you in public? Like when your mom would drop you off at school and shout, "I love you, Patootie!" from the car window. It seemed like everyone must be watching you. Everyone must have heard her say that! But, in reality, it was simply our childlike egocentric nature. Not that ever kid thinks that they're the coolest thing since shredded cheese (I insist on buying pre-shredded cheese), but let's face it. We were kind of the center of our own universes. Who was the main character in your imaginary adventures as a child? Ya, I was always the princess, too. It's something many people grow out of, though it seems to give one strong last struggle in adolescence before finally being replaced by a growing sense of self-confidence.

I was one of those kids who quickly learned that it was best to not care what others thought of me. I attended very competitive private schools from junior high to sophomore year and I honestly struggled. I maintained my honor roll status, but I constantly felt overwhelmed by the pace of the classes and the piles of homework. The last thing I needed to worry about was what the other kids thought of me. I just didn't have the time.

It would sometimes get under my skin, though. I was different. I was the "good girl," obviously not using anything and I didn't swear. I never paid much attention to what I wore since uniforms were mandatory. My skirts weren't hemmed to the popular so-short-it-got-you-a-detention length. I tended to protect and defend the kids who were bullied or teased. Not to mention that I was a Christian. That was like "social suicide."

My mom would often remind me that I wasn't at school to make friends. And I didn't necessarily want to be close to my classmates. There was a lot of manipulation and experimenting going on that I was far from comfortable with. In the end, I was the one people would talk to when they where marginalized or excluded. I was comfortable in this position. It made me Switzerland. No one wants to pick on the nice kid and no one really wants to include the nice kid in questionable activities. Win win.

When I was about to enter my junior year of high school, I did not reapply to the college-prep, all girls crazy place I had been attending. A friend from middle school had told me of this great school she was at and that I should apply. So I did. And it was like happily ever until-the-end-of-high-school. And I promised myself to focus my attention on what God wanted me to do and how He wanted me to live. Not on the expectations of my peers.

High school's over and the days of worrying about what others think about me are way behind me. Sometimes it's an issue because I'm not a political thinker. My parents are both involved in politics, so I leave that to them :) I'm a very private person and I tend to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. I try to treat everyone with the respect they deserve as children of God. Most importantly, I try not to take myself too seriously. Now, if I trip down stairs or wear my shirt inside out, I laugh. Ya, it could be embarrassing, but I choose to not let it be. I still tend to be a rescuer and that's ok with me. But I don't worry about how other's interpret it any more. I know who God has called me to reach out to and who am I to not do so?

This, I've realized, is the first worry I let go of. Living this way is like a breath of fresh air. And I think it's important to realize, people are not focused on what you're doing because they're busy considering what they are doing themselves! People may not have an opinion about how you act or dress or whatever until they find you have developed an opinion of them. It's ironic, right?

I'm not trying to encourage an attitude of self-righteousness or anything here. And there are times when a loved one's opinion will affect how I act and encourage me to be a better version of me. Example: I'm shy right off the bat. It might not seem like it on here with me sharing my honest feelings and all, but I really am. I'm guarded and more of an observer than anything. Remember those vibes I talked about way back when? No? That's ok. Let me explain.

I've always scored highest in the area of discernment on those fun spiritual gift tests you take at Christian schools :) I sometimes get a very strong first impression of a person. And it's usually right. But, I've learned to not jump to conclusions. So, I typically keep people at arms length when first getting to know them. This and my shyness end up coming across as…I don't know. Different people perceive it differently…obviously. But J, who knows me best, brought it to my attention ages ago that it can seem mean and rude. It's not intentional, but his honesty has helped me. When he expressed what he thought, it was meant to benefit and not to harm. I'm so glad to have someone in my life who is willing to call me out on things I may be unaware of. 

In summary of this rambling metaphor, I guess I just want to encourage you: don't worry about what other people are thinking. Those closest to you support you and will offer their honest opinions, I'm sure- if you seek them out. If there is something you can improve on, then your friends and family are your best resources. I truly believe that you can't go wrong with politeness and kindness. You can't please everyone. It's healthiest to focus on pleasing the Lord.

Yes, this might sound like self-help mojo nonsense, but I really believe it. So what, who cares? Life's too short to put much of your attention on what the nosey Joneses are saying.

And a Happy New Year

Well, that was quite the hiatus.

I was going to write more often, but I just hadn't felt like writing. Which is slightly out of character, but I'm posting something now…right?

I don't really "believe" in New Year's resolutions, but if I did, it would be about my blog. Something like, "I will post at least once every ten days." A lofty goal :)

Some days I have a million ideas in my head that I could write pages about, and other days I don't. I never thought I'd write something today since I reformatted and updated applications at work, but I think it cured my writer's block. So, the ideas are coming back and here I am.

I started a new job today. It was a great day. I work for Student Ministries at my church now. It makes sense- I love working with students and my peers and it's what I'm going to school for! Winner combo. God is so faithful. I didn't really know what to expect or what I would be doing, but I ended up working on some things I feel passionate about. And everyone was so warm and welcoming. It was a great day.

I think it's a good start to the New Year.

And this is the year I get married :) The planning is going well and I'm so excited. No glitches or real issues there. All the big ticket things are taken care of; and people say wedding planning is stressful! 2011 is like 2010's nice twin so far.

My friend Dena calls me the Inspirational Bride. I've got lots of inspiration and I'm sharing it. Ready or not:

My wedding's theme is love birds and love stories. Birds and books. Don't worry, no feathers included! The colors are gray and purple and a lot of others, but mainly those two. We're having some amazing vendors involved and I can't wait to share with you once I've got something to talk about, haha.

Here are some sites I love to refer to as far as wedding planning goes:

www.stylemepretty.com

www.stylemepretty.com/little-black-book-blog/

www.etsy.com

www.brides.com

and of course:

www.brilliantearth.com

It's a bigger wedding with 200 people invited, but it doesn't feel big! J and I haven't combined our guest list yet, but so far ours are a hundred people long a piece. And then we have to consider our parents' invites. But I'm not stressing. I want the people who have truly supported us and who love us to be there, like family and friends. No one we haven't talked to in three plus years or anything. Budget constraints also limit the guest list and you gotta work with what you got. One of my bridesmaids (jokingly) said, "Only 200? You're not afraid of insulting anyone." I just want to say: I don't want to insult anyone. I don't play games and with limited space we can only squeeze in so many people. We want to share this day with those we're closest to. If we could invite everyone we know, we would. Well, J would :) The idea of a wedding for two is super appealing to me. OK, I kid. But…you know.

So I guess the invites are the only difficult thing so far. We're meeting with our photographer next week and I can't wait to share more about her! Maybe a cake tasting in there somewhere, too. I'll keep you all posted.

I guess this was a catch-up kind of post. It's going to be a year full of change and opportunity and I can't wait to see what happens. Have a great first week back in the swing of things!

Sick Day

Wow, it's been a while! Crazy busy with finals, Christmas stuff and wedding planning. But, finals are over and the Christmas services have begun and we're so on top of the wedding planning. Time for a blog post!

I'm so happy…things are great. It's been a while since I've felt that things are great, but it's a nice change. And yes, being on cloud nine from getting engaged is pretty amazing, too :) 

I'll be writing a post about the ring and how unbelievably wonderful Brilliant Earth has been.  But not today.

So, we've set a date, picked a location, menu, setting, etc. And I will not be stressing over wedding planning. I can't allow myself to do that- this is supposed to be fun! No stressing.

I'm currently sick and hanging out on the couch. This is the first Christmas service I've missed, so it's a little strange to be at home while my fiance and most of my friends from work are at the church. But, it means I get to write this! So if I'm all over the place and random, please understand that my brain is not really functioning at the moment.

Apple juice or orange juice?

I like orange juice more, I think.

Are you a morning or night person?

Night! 

Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?

Both. Like chocolate covered pretzels. Sweet and salty go together so well.

What was your favorite childhood television program?

Scooby Doo. Even though it often gave me nightmares!

Are you a collector of anything?

Nope.

What is usually your first thought when you wake up?

"What time is it?"

What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?

What I need to do the next day

What's your favorite color?

Grey or purple or blue…it depends on the day.

What's your favorite animal?

Cats :)

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?

Um. I don't…I'd never actually thought about it until now.

Do you believe in ghosts?

No

You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?

I hope I would spend it wisely and give generously. I have no idea.

Have any bad habits?

Worrying. About everything.

Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?

When guys hock loogies or whatever it's called. Gross.

Leaving messes out.

List 3 of your best personality traits:

Honest

Hardworking

Caring

Awwww…

List 3 of your worst personality traits:

Hi, my name is Jacque and I worry a lot.

I sometimes second guess myself

Oversensitive

All my answers to the previous questions were one word…and these are all phrases. Neat.

Have any celebrity crushes?

Nope.

List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself:

I'm not sure

Any tattoos or piercings?

Three piercings, no tattoos.

What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?

Hairstyle

What personality traits do you look for in a partner?

Sensitivity

What personality traits do you dislike in other people?

Boundary issues

Are you mostly a clean or messy person?

Clean. Except for my bedroom at home. That's my messy space :)

Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?

Haha. I definitely don't see myself engaged for the next five years, so...

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

San Francisco

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

South America. I can't narrow it down any further!

List 5 goals on your life's to-do list:

Get married

Graduate from college

Travel

Have kids

Live the life God has for me

Name 1 regret you have:

No regrets

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid:

Having someone grocery shop and cook for you!

Can you tell I'm hungry?

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult:

A greater sense of freedom and responsibility

What's your favorite song of the moment?

Details by Frou Frou is currently playing…I'm not sure what my favorite song is, though.

What's your favorite song of all time?

Halo :)

What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?

Go out and do something!

What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?

Take a nap or go for a walk

Have any hidden talents?

I can wiggle my ears...

You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?

Drunken Thai noodles with chicken

Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?

True love

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?

I have no idea! How about a trip around the world for all three? I'm getting the urge to get out of town.

Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?

No

Name 1 thing not many people know about you:

I like to wear really thick socks.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Jacque

That was easy

Do you believe in the afterlife?

Yes

I feel like I already did this survey thingy…Huh.

Alright, getting sleepy. Hope you're almost ready for Christmas! I'm hopefully starting my shopping tomorrow…wish me luck!

Perfect

I'm getting married!

Woohoo!

So, the now fiance (I can't remember how to get that handy little accent over the e) proposed on Saturday after we flew down to San Diego. I knew it was going to be a big day, but I had NO idea that he had the most amazing day ever in store for us! I'm being all scatter-brained. Focus!

Ok. So, Friday he was gone all day "planning" stuff and getting some guy time in. But, the whole truth is that he was in San Diego arranging a car, making reservations at restaurants, scouting out proposal locations, etc. I had no idea. I thought maybe he was in San Francisco doing these things. It blows my mind that he would fly to and fro and spend months planning and brain-storming…

He told me on the phone Friday that he had taken work off for me on Saturday and to be ready by 6:45am. Like, the most ungodly time ever. But I really have no room to complain at all, haha. I was definitely running a little late and didn't have my hair done or anything, but I finished it in the car. All this prep in the car kept me preoccupied as we drove to the airport, but once I noticed we were there, I called it. "Are we going to San Diego?". Yep!

Segue. San Diego is a very special place to his family. His parents met there and his father proposed to his mother there, so it's pretty sentimental. And it has the best combination of my favorite two things: the city and the beach. The beach stretches for miles there and the weather is typically perfect, so it's a safer bet than my usual stomping grounds in Northern California.

Once we got there, we drove to Saffron Thai for lunch. I wish I could tell you where it was and everything, but I know almost nothing about San Diego. Before this weekend, I'd only ever gone to visit the zoo, haha. But I highly recommend this place. It was so good! And really adorable. The staff was so accommodating and helpful. My favorite part was the food, second favorite was that they sell picnic baskets full of food to those looking to head to the beach or a park. Such a great idea! I really recommend the Drunken Noodles, which is what I always get. Aside from the occasional green curry.

Anyway.

After lunch, we headed over to Torrey Pines State Park. It was so beautiful and right on the water. They charge a $10 fee for entering the park (ugh), but it's so worth it. We drove up to a short trail leading to a lookout and just enjoyed the view. Or so I was thinking. Suddenly, the fiance is asking the by-standers if they can give us a minute and we were all by ourselves. Haha, I wonder what was about to happen…

So we prayed and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Guess what I said?

The people standing behind us clapped and snapped pictures, offering their congratulations and asking for our email address. I can't wait to see those pictures!

We took a while afterward to laugh and act like little kids, jumping around and being really excited. Then we just stared at the ring for a while. It's so beautiful! I'm really glad we went with Brilliant Earth. I'll write another post about it.

The fiance took video of the lookout and I waited for things to settle in. It's so surreal sometimes and it's been a long time coming. The mother-in-law to be says I have the patience of a saint :) just kidding, but she really did say that.

The timing was perfect, the place was perfect, the ring was perfect….

This, I'm certain, is what happens when you honor God with your relationship.

We eventually collected ourselves and headed all the way down to the beach. What is it with guys and proposals and hikes? ;) Just kidding, J. And that was perfect, too. We called our families and looked at hermit crabs and shells and some other visitors took more pictures. The people of San Diego are so ridiculously nice.

I was so happy to be there in my element. It was so great to get away and spend some time by the water.

With my future husband :)

We spent the rest of the day doing crazy fairytale stuff, like a gondola ride with singing and chocolate covered strawberries…slightly out of my comfort zone, but hey. It's the kind of thing you only do once. I turned down a carriage ride and we then headed to Coronado. It was so beautiful. We were there just in time for sunset and walked around the beach and admired the Del before leaving for dinner at Candelas. Of course, the whole waitstaff knew we had just gotten engaged because the fiance had told them the day before about his plan. There were roses on the table and the restaurant bought us a celebratory dessert. The view from the restaurant was amazing- it was facing downtown across the bay. We took our time and stared at the ring some more before we had to leave to drop off the car and wait for our driver to pick us up and take us back to the airport. We landed in Sacramento around 10:00pm and had a little celebration with our families. It was a wonderful day. I'm so impressed that he had all of this planned out. It feels so right to take this step in our relationship now, like it's just the natural progression of things.

Perfect timing :)

Mushaboom, Mushaboom

I've been listening to Pandora Radio for the past few days and I've gotta say, I really enjoy my Florence+The Machine station. Ingrid Michaelson, Imogen Heap, Muse, Hem, etc join in and the playlist is wonderful! It's getting me through all my final projects. I've got lots of papers to write and one's late, which is something I've never done…but hey, there's a first time for everything.

Not that they're hard. Just a lot of reading, writing and…not arithmetic. No, seriously, my physics professor is assigning papers now instead of homework involving math. Strange, I know. So, no arithmetic, but instead: research. Research, research, research. I've already written papers on much of the material in the past (Aka, in high school. Ya, I know, I pay thousands of dollars for this ;) ), so I feel like I have an advantage.

But, finals are almost here! PTL!

Ya, I'm looking forward to finals. What's wrong with this picture? Haha.

I've been doing a lot of that lately. Laughing, that is. I'm referring to the "haha" above. When I'm unwinding from the day, I laugh with the bf. It's good for you, I promise. I'm enjoying it :)

It reminds me to find joy every day. It's something we should all make a habit of. As a friend of mine has reminded me, happiness is not joy. Joy comes from something other than good circumstances or good times. Joy is deeper and comes from being satisfied. Satisfied by what God has blessed me with, satisfied with what I have, contentment. I think this is why there is such a stress on being truly content with present circumstances. Philippians 4:11-13: "…I have learned to be content  in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Wow! Talk about confidence in God's will and power. Paul had seen it all and still found a way to live with joy, and I really think that joy came from being content and trusting in God's perfect plan.

Joy seems appropriate for December, right?

I've found myself content in the weirdest moments lately. Like the other day, I was content to be sitting in history. I know! It was warm, I had a notepad of paper (not computers allowed) and didn't have to do anything because the notes were online! Haha. It was warm and relaxed and the professor was on a role, so entertaining. And I thought to myself, "I'm fine being right here where I am." It's a wonderful thought to have.

I've got that thought going through my head right now as I'm sitting in the Student Union (not sure why it's called that…) and listening to Feist's Mushaboom and writing to all of you. I know I'm hard on school and pretty sarcastic about it, but I really don't have an issue being here today. And that's really nice.

And yes, I am almost always using these headphones. Thank you, Dave and Nina!

And I'm actually wearing lipstick. A gift from Clinique: Longlast Lipstick in Bamboo Pink. Wears like chapstick!

Enjoy today :)

Surprise!

Alright, has anyone seen I Love You Man? And he thinks he's out to dinner with a guy to befriend him, but said guy is looking for…something more? Ya, I laughed really hard. And I totally relate. And I don't recommend this movie at all to anyone ever. Ever. Don't watch it just because I mentioned it.

I've gone into a couple of situations thinking they were one thing, but in the end, they were definitely not what I was expecting. Kinda like when John Hus went to the Council of Constance and ended up being burned at the stake. Ok, not funny like the example above, but same idea.

Sometimes things don't go the way we expect. And it can be awful and hurtful and just plain inaccurate, but it's ok. Because it's not the end of the world. And all I can control is my response to the situations. Hopefully, I come away from this with my head high and a whole lotta experience.

One surprise situation I'm looking forward to is coming up soon…I'm excited :) I'm not great with surprises, so this is a departure for me. But it's so fun! So fun. Example: Our two year dating anniversary was on the 21st of November and the bf set up an appointment for me to get a Shellac manicure. Shellac is a hybrid nail color that's very similar to gel nails, but it's easier to remove. Supposedly lasts for weeks, but mine's growing out already. Boo :( So if you're nails don't grow as fast as mine, you're in luck. Shellac is beautiful! I'm going to ask the women at the salon how to make it less obvious (the bare nail, that is). I'll let you know how it goes.

Bad unexpected and good unexpected. I'm learning that surprises can be a good thing. I'm looking forward to a big one soon :)