Bolts of Lightening

Oh man guys. And gals. What a week.

I'm so tired, so I apologize if this is similar to the last blog I posted. I don't want it to be, really, but tiredness triggers a certain behavior in me and it seems to resemble disorganized thought.

There is so much going on in my life and I wish I could just clear some of it off my plate with a fork and scrape it into the trashcan.

But what can I say? Se la vie.

I took French for two years in high school :)

But this stuff, it's stuff I don't want to deal with. It's like, "Hey, aren't we over this yet guys? I thought high school was supposed to be the center for all things dramatic! This is such a burden."

But guess Who always wants to carry my burdens?

Yep, time to get on my soapbox. (When I think of getting on my soapbox, I picture it as a pink bar of soap…).

Jesus wants to.

So why is He sometimes the last person I think of turning to? And why do I sometimes make things worse by trying to handle them myself?

Connected thought:

Why do we hold grudges and push people away instead of asking God to help us forgive?

It's like we are just creating all this trouble for ourselves.

I think our lives would be so much easier if we lived the way God wants us to.

It's not for us to punish others with our hatred or bitterness or whatever may stem from that. And it's not my job to worry when others harbor these things against someone else. I can pray and hope and give it up to the only One who can soften someone else's heart.

So. I'm going to stop worrying about the drama. All I can do is forgive or ask forgiveness when I need to and pray for other situations.

Worrying will shorten my life, I'm convinced of it. It's almost as bad as fast food. Haha :)

Next thing:

On Wednesday, someone said: "Bad things happen because we've done something wrong and God punishes those He loves."

Yikes.
So, I asked on Twitter this week if y'all think that our pain, trials, etc…are directly correlated to God punishing us for our trespasses.

The lovely Lisa responded and gave the example of the healing of the blind man from John chapter nine. In verse three, Jesus tell those questioning Him (about whose sin had caused the man to be blind) that, "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

Ya. God wasn't punishing his sins, or sins which occurred before his birth. His blindness was planned in advance so that God's awesome power would be shown through his healing.

Wow.

Ya. 

Imagine if we allowed the difficult things in our lives to display God's glory. Like, no matter what's happening, we trust that God is in control. Whether it be through the death of a loved one, a broken marriage, a layoff…what if we allowed God to use these situations to show those around us that He can make all things new again?

Can you imagine living your life as a person blinded from birth and being told, "If only your parents hadn't screwed up, then you'd be able to see and support yourself and get married and have a normal life. Too bad for you."

Oh man, that would be so miserable. And there would be nothing you could do to change your situation!

Or what if God was constantly punishing us (because we all sin more than we like to admit), even though we were promised forgiveness?

I'm not saying there are not negative consequences for our actions. I've seen consequences in action, and I know you have, too! But I don't think God's out to get us. No bolts of lightening waiting to fry us (that's Zeus, guys). Discipline and consequences are very different from punishment.

Does this make sense? I think I'm going to read this later and say to myself, "What was I talking about?…this is awkward…"

Imagine I just said that in a funny Kristen Wiig voice. She's my favorite.

Anyway. There are some people in my life who have allowed God to display His glory through their tough times and I am so grateful for their strength and example. I want to be as trusting and willing as they have been.

The phone just rang and freaked me out! Regathering my thoughts.

Go listen to "Tear Down the Walls" by Hillsong United if you want to really get into my head.

I told you this would be really theological. 

But there you have it. That's what's on my heart.

Off the Wall

I haven't written in a bit…

Oops.

But I've had a lot of things on my mind that I'd like to write about.

One thing is very theological, so it'll have to wait. Too serious for me right now. Something you should know before you continue reading:

I am incredibly sleep deprived and I am still at the office.

Not working anymore, but keeping the bf company. We work for the same church, which is super convenient.

Random note: he now says sorrow instead of sorry a lot of the time. It makes me lol.

Who says you need caffeine to be a little spunky?

Ok, anyway. Vera Wang is launching a new collection through David's Bridal in February. Wonderful news for any unmarried woman. Check it out.

I purchased and returned Mac Pro LongWear Concealer. This stuff is very orange. I don't recommend if unless you're Snooki :) jk. But it is rather orange. If you typically wear NC shades, this will work for you!

I really like Old Navy and H&M, but check whatever you're about to buy for holes before you pull out your cash. I found holes in my recent purchases from both stores. Bummer…but glad I saw it before it was unreturnable, you know?

No, that is not a word. But I can pretend, right?

Whole Foods is a wonderful place to go for lunch. Yum…

I don't like MetroMint Water. I really wanted to, but I don't :( Oh well.

If you're sensitive to spicy, be careful when ordering the fajitas at Chipotle. They burn my lips a little. Good thing I have the EOS lip balm in Sweet Mint! Wonderful stuff.

And yes, I wish every day I were wearing that beautiful ring from Brilliant Earth. I'm very patient though.

I'll blog something less random next time…I think.

It's a Brilliant Earth, my dear

Ok, what a weekend.

Funerals, work, San Francisco, engagement rings, great food, coffee, work, hang time…

Busy busy busy.

And emotionally overwhelming. I definitely broke down on Saturday on the way to Brilliant Earth. It's kinda embarrassing. Tears and all and my mascara clumped up. I won't be repurchasing it.

Anyway. Friday was hot and sunny and may have been the true last day of summer. It was also the day of Justin Butler's memorial and graveside service. I can't believe he's gone, it's unreal. But so many people came out to support his family and remember him the way he would've wanted: laughter, food, football…

It was a good celebration.

The next day, I headed down to work with the bf at 9 to set up since I wouldn't be there during the church services. It took forever!

Well, not forever. But way too long.

We finally headed off to the city around 1 and had to book it to our appointment at 3. We probably would've been there on time if I hadn't navigated.

I've been to San Francisco countless times. I've stayed there over-night, for a few days, for a week, for my birthday…but I still get lost. It's impossible for me to figure it out. I had it down for a while…but ya. Not so much anymore.

And then I started crying…embarrassing.

But, the staff at Brilliant Earth were so wonderful and stayed open late and called to see if they could help us find the building. The bf told me he'd been hearing from them throughout the week since he had made the appointment to see if they could do anything for him and answer any of his questions. Amazing!

So, we got there and looked at all of these beautiful rings and the ones I thought I'd love (from the website) I didn't really like! Surprised?

So, I picked something new entirely and was sized (I have a very small finger, 4.75)

and talked to them about customizing the ring. The boyfriend looked at several as well and was sized as a 7.

All in all, I highly recommend this company. And, they can tell me everything I need to know about when the diamonds were mined and where from. I value that.

Btw, the post title is a boyfriend quote. I thought it was funny :)

Then, we wandered around Union Square and headed to dinner at a little restaurant in the Dogpatch Historical District called Piccino. They specialize in seasonal, local and organic cuisine with an emphasis in pizza. It was amazing. We started with the soup of the day (red lentil and peach with creme fraiche and dill) and the antipasti platter with house pickled carrots, watermelon radishes, olives, and sweet chickpea spread (hummus) with flat bread baked in their pizza oven. Yummy, but the carrots were a little spicy!

Then we ordered the white pizza with garlic, zucchini and heirloom tomatoes. The tomatoes were so sweet. For dessert, I ordered the ginger cake with caramel and whipped creme, which was also delicious. I was really impressed.

The restaurant was probably the smallest I'd ever been in (besides farm:table, another place in SF, but they only serve brunch). The feel was very bright and clean with unique place settings and fresh sunflowers.

I highly recommend this place!

We then headed to the Mission District for coffee, but unfortunately Four Barrel was closed.

I am leading a one man campaign to get them to extend their hours! Who's in? They close at eight!

So we headed to Ritual, which wasn't great and was pretty gassy (had only been roasted 3 days before) and nutty.

Here's the view of the city we caught on the way out:

Love it.

Disappointed to not see anyone who needed a bite to eat or a jacket, but I guess that's also a good thing.

I'm hoping we'll spend some time in Golden Gate Park and Bodega Bay soon :) and hit up Four Barrel if they are OPEN!

I'm very passionate about this. 

Oh, we did stop in Golden Gate Park for a few minutes as we were leaving, but it was freezing! And dark, so the picture's not great, but we did take one:

<3

Day Trippin'

Alright, remember how much I said I love San Francisco in my last post? I'm on my way there now with the bf! We're off to a late start, but hopefully we won't be late since we have an appointment at Brilliant Earth :) if you don't know what Brilliant Earth is all about, Google it. Seriously.
I love everything I've heard about this company so far. They create beautiful pieces of jewelry out of recycled precious metals and they only use conflict free gems (most are mined in Canada). So guess what we're looking at...;)
And can I just say...finally! Really excited. Long dating relationships are not easy, but I can't think of anything I would change about mine. I'm a lucky girl.
I can't wait to be in the city! Tell you about it later :)
Oh, and I'm posting this from my iPhone and feeling pretty cool, haha.

Things I Like

Alright, I mentioned in my last post that I say "I love blah" a lot. I do, I admit it. I throw the word around.

We all do…

But I really do want to stop. It's a bad habit. Bad.

I wish there was more than one form of the word love, like in C.S. Lewis' book The Four Loves. In Greek, there are four different words which all essentially mean love.

Genius.

Anyway. This post is about things I'm currently liking a lot. I will not say "loving" in regards to a nonperson. Girlscout's honor.

I was never a Girlscout…but you know what I mean.

Ok, first thing. I'm liking renewed friendships.

I love my friends (hey, they are persons!). I really dislike holding grudges against people I was once close to. There's nothing like forgiving and letting go of whatever "hurt" you think someone has caused you. It's seriously liberating. And chances are, the hurt was not inflicted intentionally.

When I am ready to get over myself and forgive someone fully, it's like a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders. Or like the world is right-side up again. A breath of fresh air.

So what are you waiting for? Forgive someone.

"Forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us."

Yikes, I better get even better at forgiving. Convicted.

Next thing. Impact.

I like impact. I seriously typed "love" in that last sentence and had to rewrite it. Bad.

So, impact. I'm still figuring this out, but so far it means, "catalyzing change". Change is hard, but good. Positive change is the best.

I like being impacted by the people around me and in return, impacting them.

Mostly, impacting a community or something. San Francisco's been on my heart a lot lately. I really like this city- it's one of my favorite places. I love the people who live in this city. I don't know what will happen with this, but I'm open to whatever…

Third thing: San Francisco.

Nice segue, right? If I decided to serve in any city, it would be San Francisco. This place is tough, crowded, busy, beautiful, diverse…a little bit of everything. Not to mention the amazing coffee culture. The Gibraltar was born at Blue Bottle Cafe in SF, did I mention that? Home of Blue Bottle, Ritual, Fourbarrel, Sightglass…yum. My favorite Thai place is in the city, too.

And the ocean. Hello? Ya. 

Not to mention the cupcakes.

And the homeless. Wow. I took a guy to dinner once when I was in San Francisco who was living on the street due to depression and anxiety. I took another lady some food who had been widowed and had no where else to go. I've met boys who lost everything while moving to the city and have no options. What are these people going to do to get the help they need?

So many options.

Another thing:

"Something in the Water" by Brooke Fraser. So fun. And totally different from her other songs. It's the best midday encourager- super upbeat and sweet. And the music video has a really cute Eskimo in it. Her new album Flags is available for preorder on iTunes. And guess what? She's got a show in San Francisco in December!

Clothes and Makeup:

Blushable Creme Sticks from NYC and Jumbo Eye Pencils from NYX (Creme Cheese is great for highlighting). And Perfectly Real Makeup from Clinique. And Korres Face Primer (which is paraben and silicone free and smells like citrus). And Stilla Blush in Creme.

I tried the LashBlast Lengthening formula this month and I don't know if it's my favorite mascara, but I like it more than the original LashBlast.

I've had Palladio's loose rice powder for a while but I'm just realizing now how much I like it. Yay!

Clinique's Long Last Glosswear in Guava Gold is lovely but sticky.

By the way, I've had this stuff for a while. It's just the first time I've mentioned it! The mascara is new.

And Old Navy. Who knew? I'm so excited about it. So comfy! And cute.

Sweaters from H&M. Comfy as well.

And cuffed straight-leg jeans.

I'm also adoring the idea of fall. It's not fall here yet, we're still getting 90 degree weather. Ew. But, hopefully it'll cool down soon. Fall is better for coffee drinking, baking, bundling up and enjoying the outdoors (at least in my area it is. no one wants to go outside in this heat). And fall means midterm and Thanksgiving break as well as a trip to Tahoe and San Francisco! Yay!

These are the things I really like right now :)

Oh, and a side note: everyone's making fun of Katy Perry's schoolgirl outfit from her SNL performance. It's really what girls from my Catholic high school would wear minus the sequins. I kid you not!

Get to Know Me

So, a part of this tag is that I have to post a current picture of myself…no touch-ups or added make-up allowed.

I'm at work in this picture, but I'm done with work…It's nine o'clock and I'm listening to Hillsong United. The headphones are Apple In-Ears and the hoodie and tee are from Old Navy if anyone is wondering…

Q: What made you choose your blog?

A: I've been considering writing a blog for a while now…I've always enjoyed writing and sharing my thoughts, so I finally took the plunge! The name is an inside joke, but I'll clue you guys in- my name is spelled Jacque, which is the French spelling of the American name Jackie. So, the bf said "You should call it "Blogue Jacque!" I thought it was fun :) and kinda silly, but...I didn't have any better ideas!

Q: What's your actual name?

A: Jacquelyn Nicole Allard

Q: Do you have any nicknames?

A: Lots. But the most common are Jacque, J and Jack. I don't appreciate the last one, lol, but it's stuck.

Q: What hobbies do you have?

A: Coffee, baking, reading, food, music, fashion, makeup, movies…etc, etc...

Q: What do you do?

A: I work for a church in the Children's Ministry department. I focus on curriculum and visuals as well as events and teaching.

Q: What would you like to do?

A: I like what I do. It's said that if a child comes to Christ before the age of 12, they are more likely to remain in the faith for the rest of their lives. I hope to help create a fun and safe environment for them (and their parents) in which they can begin to form a relationship with Jesus. And I love hanging out with them!
Someday, I'd like to just be a wife and mother. But we shall see...

Q: Tell us something embarrassing, but that you love doing?

A: Haha…lots of things! I'm a little quirky I guess. I love going to coffee with people. I don't care how well I know them or whatever, if we're going to coffee, it doesn't matter.

I love makeup. I always have. I don't know why…I was always the girl who did everyone's face and hair for dances and such. It's fun.

I really like singing pieces from Broadway musicals and any Italian aria. Beautiful stuff. I guess it's because I always did in voice lesson (I took voice for 9 years, performed as a soloist and in ensembles and was a music minor originally. I also love to help lead worship).

Q: Tell us a little something that we don't already know about you.

A: I have really bad luck. Like seriously bad luck. But a really good intuition. So they kind of balance one another out. It's like I get a good read on situations and people, but I am trying to not draw conclusions hastily because of it. 

And I have lots of deja vu from dreams. Does that make sense? It's like, "Oh, this has happened to me before…In a dream!"

I am blessed with very generous people in my life. Any Apple product I own has been given to me. Ya, even the In-Ear Headphones from the picture. I have some beautiful purses that were given to me as well. It's crazy. And mostly the bf's fault. I'm spoiled.

I am a health nut. Organic, all natural, no food coloring allowed kinda nut. I'm one of those girls who will turn down fast food unless I'm in dire need of calories. And it goes for skin care, too. I make my own face scrubs and makeup removers and would rather use aloe and olive oil on my skin than anything with parabiens and fragrance. But I do love perfume :)

Q: What achievement are you most proud of?

A: Nannying these guys! No, they're not mine (I don't know why it's leaving such a big gap between the text and the photo!)

And becoming more like the person God wants me to be :)

Q: What do you most like about yourself?

A: Huh. I'm not sure…the first thing that comes to mind is that I'm hard-working.

Q: What would you change about yourself if you could?

A: I want to learn to empathize. I struggle with that at times.

Q: If you could have anything in the world (that doesn't cost any money), what would you want?

A: I have no idea! There are so many things I want to change and have happen, but they aren't things I can do on my own…I want to get married (but that costs lots of money, so…)...

I want to change the way people see the homeless.

I want to change the way people see Christians.

I want to have a positive impact on my community.

I want to be helpful to those in need.

Etc…

Q: Do you have any pets ? 

A: My parents have a dog…

Q: Name three things that are physically close to you

A: Laptop, monitor, green tea with honey :)

Q: What's the weather like right now

A: Warm. Hello Mother Nature, it's supposed to be fall!

Q: Do you drive ? If so, have you crashed? 

A: Yes! No!

Q: What time did you wake up this morning?

A: 6:45 am. Yucky

Q: When was the last time you showered?

A: This morning

Q: What was the last movie that you saw?

A: I can't remember…the last thing I watched was the Office Season Premier

Q: What does you last text message say?

A: Yes ma'am :)

It was to the bf's mom :)

Q: What is your ringtone? 

A: Picture by Mutemath

Q: Have you ever been to a different country? 

A: Yes! I've been to Mexico several times, England and Spain.

Q: Do you like sushi?

A: Definitely. I ignore the fact that it may be full of mercury. Ignorance is bliss…?

Q: Where do you buy your groceries?

A: Trader Joe's and Target

Q: Have you ever taken any medication to help you fall asleep faster?

A: Medication? Nope. I stay away from pills.

Q: How many siblings do you have?

A: I have a younger sister and a younger brother. Both happen to be taller than me :( haha

Q: Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

A: Just a laptop :)

Q: How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

A: 21!

Q: Do you wear contacts or glasses?

A: No. I'm supposed to wear glasses while reading, but I don't. Oops!

Q: Do you colour your hair? 

A: No, but I found a gray hair today. Oh man :( What does it mean?!

Q: Tell me something you are planing to do today

A: I am planning on going to bed early and hopefully watching SNL! I love that show. And I say that I love inanimate objects too much.

Q: When was the last time you cried?

A: Monday. I got into a fender bender for the first time, but there was no damage to either car! PTL! It was my fault completely, I backed into the guy because I didn't see him, but he was so nice and said it wasn't a big deal. I got lucky guys!

Q: What is your perfect pizza topping?

A: Green bell peppers :)

Q: Which do you prefer, hamburger or cheeseburger ?

A: I don't eat red meat…so…

Q: Have you ever had an all-nighter?

A: Well, I am a college student. I've had a few of those!

Q: What is your eye color?

A: Currently blue

Q: Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?

A: Yes, but I don't like either of them.

Ok, that went from really personal to impersonal…but I think these are kinda fun :)

Now you know me better!

I'll write something more original soon, I promise.

2010

Where is this year going? I can't believe how it's flying by. It seems like as we get older, the years get shorter. And now it's almost October!

I haven't written in several days for a few reasons: 

1. Because I think only two people know this blog exists ;)

2. Because I've been pretty sarcastic this week, and no one wants to read that.

Well, and I've been busy. This week is hectic! I call Tuesdays like today "Crazy Tuesdays" (they happen a few times a month). But days like today help me appreciate my down time. Always a positive thing.

Mostly, I've spent a lot of this week processing. Processing mostly about things I've experienced this year as well as forgiveness. All this time spent thinking about how my encounters and a more merciful attitude have affected my life this year made me realize something else about 2010:

This year will be one to remember.

Seriously, it's been a year out of a reality TV show. I think you guys would watch it if someone ever aired it ;) But, that means it's also been a year of growth and that's always a good thing.

I think I'll look back on this year as a good year. Ok, and an overwhelming year. But a good one.

Someone recently asked me how I would describe my life if I could only use movie genres...It would definitely be a suspenseful romantic comedy kinda movie.

Told you you would watch it!

I've started a Bible study on the experiences of the prophet Jonah and man did he have some crazy things going on in his life. Have you ever been swallowed by a whale? Ya, me neither. It makes my life seem a little less weird. Ok, more than a little.

But anyway, in this study the author is always comparing Jonah's life to a life full of divine intervention. Not a life interrupted, not a life thrown off track. A life full of God's intervention. Um, I think that's what I signed up for when I accepted Christ as my personal Savior. Let me check...yep, I did.

And that's when it started to make sense.

I don't want a boring life. I don't even want a comfortable life. I want the life God has for me. And if all the craziness is a part of His plan and allowing me to become more like Him, then why am I complaining?

So ya, life's constantly surprising me this year. But I'm also constantly surprising myself :)

What's this year been like for you?