Sunday, October 17, 2010

Rainy Afternoons

Alright, what a great afternoon. I got off work and spent some time with those adorable boys from a few blogs ago and their dad and the boyfriend. We had McDonald's for lunch (I know, I know…gross. But those kids love the chicken nuggets) and watched football and played games and hid inside while it rained. Spent some good time talking to their dad about kidmin and what he would say to the guy who will someday in the distant future ask to date his daughter (she and her mom were out). Stuff like that. Eventually, I started falling asleep with both boys in my lap playing Angry Birds and felt slightly melancholy about how big they were getting and how quickly they were growing up. Time flies. And that's really not a very flattering picture. Then again, it was a lazy rainy afternoon and it's hard to take a really good picture with those two sitting on you :)

Then I went to Whole Foods and grabbed some coconut water. It's supposed to be super hydrating and water doesn't seem to be cutting it for me lately. I'll drink cups and cups of water and still have chapped lips and feel thirsty. I don't know what the deal is.
Anyway, the coconut water. It tastes like the milk at the bottom of your bowl of cereal. Not very appealing, but it's full of potassium and electrolytes and is supposed to be really good for your skin. Next time, I'll pick up a flavored one. I'll let you know how it goes.
I then had a great dinner with my mom, sister, sister's bff and my bf. It was great to catch up, especially since my sister lives in SLO now. She was just here for the weekend. One of her friend's dads has a plane and lives near us. What are the odds?
Now the boy and I are at Bloom. I should be doing homework. But…it's just not happening right now. It's like my brain is rejecting any major effort I try to put into my papers, midterms, book reviews…Oh school, you are such a vex.
Ya. I personified school and used the word vex in that last sentence. Yikes.
Today was really like the first day of fall. It was overcast, chilly, wet, the air smelled amazing. Good practice for Seattle. Where my friends are moving. I've come to terms with it and it'll be ok. I'll see them off with lots of love and scarves and visit them plenty. Which leads me to my tangent.
Dealing with discouragement. I deal with this every once in a while. Who doesn't? I struggle with feeling restrained, I guess. I want to continue to learn what my gifts are and how to best put them into use, but I often feel like there's really no opportunity available for me to do so. My bf's mom, Nina, is great at giving me creative outlets by asking me to do little design projects for her and I really appreciate it. I'm looking for more of these opportunities. I know I have skills in the areas of administration as well. I love music and wish I could be more involved in kids' choirs and productions. I was in dozens and dozens as a child and well into high school and musical theatre is another geeky thing I'm into. And writing. Thus the existence of this blogue. Haha.
I feel called to reach out to the homeless. And we all know by now that I have this thing for San Francisco. I've taken a little initiative on this one on my own, but it always leaves me wishing I could do more. I can't wait to see what my November trip will offer.
I want to be a mother who raises independent, well-rounded young adults who are securely attached to their parents and have a deep love for themselves and Christ.
I also enjoy working with special needs kids. I was able to work with one this summer and he is so dear to my heart. Cole suffers from Lesch Nyhan syndrome and came to a camp I was working at. He was so sweet and had the most beautiful blue eyes.
All this to say that I don't know what to do with these desires and undeveloped gifts. Closed doors sometimes seem more readily available than open ones. But God is faithful. My life is full of testimony pointing to His steadfast love and the restoration only He can offer. I thank Him every day for these wonderful examples and encouraging people in my life. My friend Brandie once told me, "You should do what only you can do."
God created me for a purpose and put these desires in my life for a reason. And that's what pulls me out of the ditch of discouragement.
DoD. I'm coining that. You owe me a dollar if you use it ;)
But seriously. I'm not staying down. Where do you think Satan wants us? Ya, in that ditch.
C.S. Lewis said a lot of incredibly brilliant things, but I always come back to these two when I'm looking for a way out of DoD: "“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ''Blessed are they that mourn.''” and "God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain”. Wow. Thanks C.S. Lewis.
This is a really long post. Thanks for sticking with me…at least, if you got to this sentence ;)
And I haven't listened to Flags enough to post about it yet :( But, I can advise you to order the deluxe because of the bonus track. Beautiful and gripping. Seriously, I know it sounds cheesy, but it really is. Get it on iTunes.

No comments:

Post a Comment